Life Coaching Was Great And Something Was Missing:
As I completed my life coaching program at SWIHA I left feeling grateful that I had a completed the course and excited to help others. However, I still felt like something was missing and every time I got into a coaching session I found myself trying to revert back to some sort of tool or process and it just didn't feel right. I graduated from that course in May of 2019 the exact date of my son's first birthday. Since then I have taken a lot of other courses, but none have brought me the clarity that my spiritual coaching class brought me. As we completed the course, I felt relieved. I felt relief to know that the reason that the life coach didn't suit me is because I am a spiritual coach.
I am a spiritual coach. I am a spiritual coach. It feels good, liberating, and a little scary to say those words. I know that with every fiber of my being that Spirit is with me in this journey. I am in this journey because of Spirit and I know that my work and my life is founded in Spirit.
I started on this journey because I was so blessed with the birth of a child that wasn't supposed to be. I asked for Spirit’s help and Spirit has been with me every step of the way. I made a promise to Spirit that I would serve, and I would give back because I have been so blessed. I was living a life of feeling numb, overworking myself, always being stressed out, not really having a big picture of where I wanted to go, having so many unhealed emotions, not wanting to truly feel my feelings, and always finding my mind in the future or in the past. I didn't know the divine light within me. I wasn't connected to my knowing.
The Rediscovery of Me:
That was over three years ago. My life has completely transformed, first my inner world and now my external world. Many days I don't even recognize the person I used to be. It has taken a lot of healing, learning and unlearning, delving into my belief systems and values examining them to see if they're really mine or if I've been carrying around someone else’s beliefs, acknowledging all of my emotions, classes, courses, books, and school to get to where I am now. The journey is worth every tear cried, every emotion felt, every hurt, and every bump or mountain along the way.
I have never felt so connected to myself, connected to those around me. I feel like I live my life on purpose. Now I feel liberated and inspired and empowered. I know that I am guided and protected and have an amazing support team in both the physical and non-physical realms. Life is truly incredible.
Empowering Others To Connect To The Light Within:
Now that I know what an inspired life can be, I coach others see the light within them, to help them gain the clarity around what it is that they truly want, the confidence to receive what they want, and a relationship with their Knowing. A strong self-connection that allows them to release what no longer serves them, to live a life their Soul is calling them to, and to feel empowered to answer the calling.
I have a deep desire and passion to learn and grow and what this allows is for me to gain insight and knowledge and wisdom that I can bring into the sessions to allow my clients to receive the information that is best suited for them.
From living my experiences as a working mom in corporate America who grew up doing everything she was supposed to do only to feel an emptiness to transforming my life into one I love and a life that feels purposeful. I desire to give this gift to others. To light the path along their journey.
Being Spirit Lead:
Having the unique ability to merge my engineering mind, my intuition, my experiences, and my passion for learning and growing, I come forth as a spiritual coach that allows clients to both see the logical factors and a connection to their intuition, to access their inner power, to feel more confident, and to have clarity on what they want. I have the ability to create a space where people feel comfortable to share their true feelings and I do this by setting the intention, being vulnerable myself, and allowing Spirit to lead.
I am so grateful to be on this spiritual journey and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to coach others on this spiritual journey. It is truly an honor and a privilege and I am forever grateful.
No Words, No Conditions:
This Love that I speak of is hard to put into words, it is like the most reassuring love, it’s never ending, never leaving, always present, kind, gentle, and patient.
It is not a love I know fully in the “human” form, meaning I have not experienced it outside of me with others. The closest is the love a mom may feel when holding a newborn baby after labor or the love of a parent, but even that can be conditional.
This love I speak of has no conditions. It is unconditional, you don’t need to do anything or be anything to receive this love because you are this love.
This love I speak of does not need to be earned, nor deserved. You do not need to do anything to be worthy of receiving this love, you do not need to not do anything to deserve this love.
This love I speak of can bring me to tears of joy, of elation in an instant. I can sit, breathe into my heart, breathe into my Soul, and feel this love from the inside out. When connecting to this love in my heart space, it can come back up like it is traveling through my esophagus and then it meets my throat with a lump that makes me want to cry. This love is so beautiful, and it is in each and every one of us.
I used to think that I needed to earn this love, that if only I could do something or not do something then I would be worthy of this love. Of course, I thought consciously I was worthy of this love, why wouldn’t I be? But unconsciously I was playing out patterns in my life that showed I didn’t feel worthy of the love, that showed I wasn’t good enough to receive the love, I unconsciously believed I needed to do something in order to receive this love, I believed love was earned.
How Earned Love Showed Up in My Live:
I used to work 50-60+ hours per week I always felt behind, like there wasn’t enough time to get everything done. I used to have a common motto, there is too much to do and not enough time. Since this was my belief, it continued to play out in my life. I believe that the same cycles continue in our lives until we become aware of them and bring this beautiful Love to them. I believed that if I didn’t work this much or more that I would get even further behind. I would take vacation but work on my vacation, I would take sick days but work on my sick days. I never stopped. Then I had my home job as a mom, which if you are a mom, know it never stops. It is 24/7. I would go non-stop then when I would play with my kids, I would be thinking about the million other things I needed to do. Sitting down to watch a movie was almost non-existent in my life, I felt so unproductive sitting on the couch. If I sat down for a second and my husband would walk in the room, I would get up. I of course did not realize I was doing any of this until I brought it to my awareness.
I also felt this constant feeling of not being good enough – not being a good enough mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter, co-worker, - you name it – not enough. I always needed to learn more, to do more, to spend more time, just so much more, it was always more and it was never enough, it was exhausting.
However, I kept pushing myself, I learned these “tricks” young – if only I do, do, do even at the expense of my own well-being. Then I will be enough, then I will finally be worthy of the love. If only I get the good grades, the gold stars, the scholarships, the accolades, the promotion, the raises, then I will be worthy of the love. Of course, this is not what my parents or family, or friends meant to do. They loved me. They just didn’t know exactly how to show it because they were not taught unconditional love either.
The Search for Unconditional Love:
I was searching for this unconditional love outside of me. I thought it was given to me for something that I did or didn’t do. I was looking for someone outside of me to give me this love. I was searching but always felt a void, I didn’t necessarily tie it to a lack of love. I typically tied this void I felt inside of me to not receiving an accomplishment or having something that I wanted yet. There was always something more I needed to do.
Even after I started my transformation, I held a belief that if only I remove all these blocks, once I heal all these layers keeping me from the Love that is within me, then… Then I will be worthy of the love. Then I will be worthy to teach the love. But what I realized is…
I Am The Love:
I realized this love isn’t outside of me. I don’t have to do anything to receive it. I don’t have to remove every block and fear to allow it to flow to me because it is within me. I don’t even need to be worthy of it because I am it. I am the Love and so are You. This love has been inside of me this whole time and this whole time I have been looking outside of me. This love that is inside of me is more incredible than any love I have felt outside of me. This Love is the Love I want to share with the world.
This is the Love I to share with you.
Before 2018 I only knew of the word healing in terms of medical healing. If someone was hurt or sick, they would heal from their aliment. In 2017, while pregnant with my third child I did not know if my unborn baby would live. This event drastically shifted my life. I prayed a lot. I didn’t cry a lot because at that time I still thought crying was weak. At the end of forty weeks, and one day I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. As I write this now, he is three, just got out of the pool with his goggles on, so tight his eyes are squinted, and his top lip can barely move, he wants me to swim with him. These past three years I have learned a lot about healing, not about medical healing but about healing from the inside out.
How My Healing Journey Started:
The birth of Rhett was the start of my healing journey and in 2018 I started to shift. Something inside me started to change. I can’t explain it, but it is like a calling for something more, a calling for something less, a call for something different, a calling from my Soul. I was done with being so stress, overwhelmed, and overworked both at home and at work. I felt stuck. I was tired of yelling at the kids and my relationship with my husband felt more like work. It felt like I was always giving to everyone else and there was no time for me. It was exhausting, I was exhausted. I wanted my outside world to change, but what I discovered is that I wanted my outside world to change I needed to heal my inside world. When we go inside to heal, our whole outside heals.
A Journey Back to Love:
Unconsciously, I started a journey to learn to love myself again, to love all of me, all parts of me, even the ones I thought were ‘bad’, even the ones I thought were unlovable. A journey to learn that I am the love. A journey to undoing the blocks to feeling this love, to being this love, and this is what I mean by healing.
I believe that healing is available to us in each moment, it can be that aha moment, a shift in perspective, the undoing of an old patterns and cycles, the letting go of limiting thoughts and beliefs, it can be deeper like shadow work and inner child work.
It’s the moment when we allow ourselves to be loved more fully, the moment when we allow our heart to integrate parts that have broken off or need mending. It is releasing the blocks and the fears that keep us from the Divine Love that is within us.
Why I am so Passionate About Healing…
The reason I heal and am so passionate about helping others heal is because I have discovered there is this beautiful love within me. This love can bring me to tears it is so magical. I want everyone to feel this love. This beautiful love that comes from within. I believe that my healing journey allowed me to access this love that is within me, available to me at any moment. I believe that my healing journey opened the door to my heart, to allow the love to flow.
Flowing River or a Dam?
Imagine there is water flowing through you and at one point, most likely when you were a child, it flowed freely. Then as you got older every time you got frustrated, angry, irritated, upset, and didn’t allow yourself to feel these feelings, which are natural, you blocked the flow of the water.
Imagine that every time you resisted or blocked life, every time you pushed down a feeling or a thought or a fear with an “I’m fine” or a distraction instead of allowing yourself to feel it, you block the flow of water.
Every time you followed someone else’s dreams, someone else’s path instead of your own you blocked the flow of the water.
Now imagine what it looks like in your body. Is it a flowing river? Or is it full of dams? This water is love; we are blocking our own love.
My goal is to help you release the dams so you can allow the flow of the water, so you can allow the flow of love to engulf you.
Words I used to reference healing…
What Can You Heal?
What is a Healing Like?
In the beginning I just started to become aware of me, of what I didn’t want and then what I wanted and needed. Then I started to go deeper, I started to meditate and while that brought peace and more stillness to my mind, it was not the only way to connect to myself. Daily I connect with myself, with the Love within me. This connection can just be a couple of breathes to remind me of the love within me, this connection can occur when my emotions are overcoming me and my anger wants to explode out of me, this connection can occur when I pray, when my heart is full of gratitude, this connection can occur when I listen to a song or audiobook or read a book that moves me. These connections can occur in my different ways.
There are times that parts of me show up that have not yet received the love they need or deserve. Their voices have not yet been heard. They don’t know yet that they are the love. They are parts of me frozen in time, at the time they were hurt. These parts still need to be integrated with the love. I hold compassion for them, I am curious about them, how were they hurt? What do they need me to know? How can I help them, us? These parts show up in thoughts, behaviors, actions, emotions, and situations in life. These parts are typically show up as a cycle or pattern that keeps coming up in my life. I have found that the Universe will continue to send similar situations in my life that needs to be heal and if I ignore these situations or suppress them or don’t become aware of their occurrence and heal them then they will continue.
You Have the Power to Heal Yourself:
Monthly, or more often, I go to healing sessions to work through the hurt or pain of these parts or the beliefs that I picked up in childhood so that I can learn to love myself and others more. I connect with parts of me, vulnerable parts of me that have built up protection layers. These vulnerable parts of me do not want to experience what occurred before so these protection layers drive behaviors that keep me from the hurt. I quickly started to realize there were so many events in my life that needed to be healed and I couldn’t just wait until the once-a-month sessions. So, I started to heal myself, I started to get more curious, more aware, more compassionate, and I realized that I could hold the space for myself to heal. That I am powerful enough to heal myself.
I heal in many ways… I write, I journal about my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. I write this book, I meditate, I use the tapping method, I do guided visualizations, I pray, I read, I connect to my inner child, I use Internal Family Systems, I talk with family about deep pain or hurt and am open and compassionate in the space, I walk, I get into nature, there are so many ways to heal. As I did this more and more, I realized that throughout the day, there were still daily frustrations that would make me angry, irritated, or frustrated… then I found The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. When I read his book, relief flooded over me, finally I found something I can do at any moment and not feel in that moment that I need to take a mental note to go heal it later. I learned that I can just breathe into the uncomfortable feelings, I can just feel it all, breathe into it all, and then let it go. The concept is really this simple, the implementation can be more difficult. Allow yourself to breath in each challenging moment.
Is the Love Only Available Once I’m Healed?
No. What I want you to know now, is that you do not need to heal to access the Love within you as you are already the love, however, releasing the blocks allows the Love to flow more freely.
Ready to Start Your Healing Journey?
Through my journey back to myself, to the love within me. I realized we all have the power to heal ourselves. However, sometimes even the best of us need support. I am happy to help guide you back to the Love that is within you, back to love. I would love to hold the space for you to heal the blocks and fears keeping you from this love. You are worthy of this Divine Love that is Within You! What are you waiting for?
In my messages, videos, and content you will see ‘Rediscover You’ repeatedly. I love this phrase because it clarifies that while we may feel lost, while we may feel like we have lost ourselves, we are never truly lost. We just need to rediscover who we are, inside of us.
I believe we feel “lost” for many reason…
All of this is exhausting, and we have lost our way, but the answers we are looking for are not outside of us, even thought that is where we have been taught to look. All the answers we need to know are inside of us waiting to be Rediscovered.
I believe we don’t need to do anything or be anything to be loved. We are worthy of love just the way we are right now in this moment. The love that flows through us, the love that is available to us at any moment does not need us to do anything.
To Rediscover You means to rediscover the Love within you, the Love that you are. It is here right now waiting for you with arms wide open, and you don’t have to do anything to receive it. You are worthy of if just as you are. You are worthy of Love.
What it is like to Rediscover You, the Love within you.
If you feel like you need help accessing the Love that is already within you, the love you already inherently deserve. I can help you Rediscover You, the Love that you are. We do this by going within, connecting to the Love within you, and allowing that Love to guide us in releasing blocks, patterns, cycles, and belief systems. This can be releasing self-criticism, self-hatred, guilt, anger, resentment, fears, not feeling valued, worthy, limiting thoughts and beliefs, and other blocks that keep you from truly love you without the feeling of needing to earn the love.